One part of my job includes managing domain transfers. About half the time this is really a seemless process, people have the right passwords, the other host has a good web interface, and things go smoothly.
The other half of the time is usually a complete headache. There are several reasons for this. One, the domain owner usually is not a technically savvy person. Two, the email contact password and user id are generally missing, incorrect, or just MIA. Three, the other host has such a bad interface, customer service, or completely shady procedures.
DRoA (Domain registry of America -gag-) is one of the shadiest and most underhanded domain hosts I have ever encountered. All the time we get advertisements via fax, mail or email saying your domain is about to expire and you owe $99~ to renew. Of course they aren't the host of the domain, they just want you to pay, then they take your money and make you transfer to them after the fact.
Another example is hosts that like to do -some- of what you ask. They send you partial access, make partial or blatantly incorrect changes, turn off service, or forget to answer your 10 emails for a month or two.
Why cant you all just play nice! Try GoDaddy, cheap efficient and generally responsive!